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Lani

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(no subject) [Dec. 22nd, 2005|12:06 pm]
Lani
I'm hungry.
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*sings* veni veni venias.... ne me mori facias.... -_- [Dec. 20th, 2005|02:42 pm]
Lani
Holy fuck I'm so bored. It's 2:45 and I just found out that I have to stay here until 5! -_-

My car is in the shop, I got a ride to work with my mom. And then we found out just now that the car won't be ready until 5:30. Of course they said that last time and it still wasn't ready until at least 6:15. rawr.

Thing that pisses me off #1 - not having a car.
Thing that pisses me off #2 - having to work late.
Thing that pisses me off #3 - reading CNN.com for 5 hours. (though congrats to the US senate for not renewing those sections of the Patriot Act, that makes me glad)
Thing that pisses me off #4 - Sudoku. If I have to do one more of these things today, I'll vomit. Or scream. Or do both at once.

This blows.
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wow. much better mood now. [Dec. 20th, 2005|10:42 am]
Lani
[mood |happyhappy]

Just checked my grades.... My biology grade hasn't been reported yet, but I can see it on semester book.... and... well...

Latin- A
English- B
Philosophy- A
Biology- B

Ladies and gentlemen, that is a 3.5.... wtf....

HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK? I'm excited that my grades are so good, but it kind of makes me want to stab myself in the face. Why does my bad behaviour so often result in happy endings? Why must I tempt fate and turn out ahead? It can't be good for my karma. Cheating the System all the time and getting what I don't deserve all the time is bad.

But I'm really not too upset over it.
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work. [Dec. 20th, 2005|09:43 am]
Lani
Oh my god.... it is now 9:45 and I have to be here until 4:30. really?

I really am not doing well handling this today. In fact, I'd like to stab certain people in the face. It really irks me that people in my department make me walk all the way to the other building to pick up some shitty text documents to give to someone in a different department that I don't even work for that they could just send through the FUCKING FAX MACHINE. Or maybe even, since they're about to go have a meeting a with this person, they could stop playing text twist for 5 minutes and walk their lazy drag queen ass to the back and get it themselves. But really.... fax machine, people. facsimile. try it. It's only been around since the mid 1800's. Or for the more tech-savvy, you coud try EMAIL. you know, that thing you waste at least an hour a day on?

fuck you you fucking bitch. I hope you die.
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here's an amusing something. [Dec. 20th, 2005|08:24 am]
Lani
http://wolfblitzer.ytmnd.com/

"they are so poor... and so black."


Oh, and btw, You're the man now dog sites are fucking gay. Though some are really funny.

like this one: http://lohanfacial.ytmnd.com/
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TEE HEE!!! [Dec. 16th, 2005|10:52 am]
Lani
[mood |gigglygiggly]

*giggles*Collapse )

ladies and gentlemen, you have no idea....
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*hug sigh of relief* [Dec. 16th, 2005|08:15 am]
Lani
[mood |contentcontent]

*phew*

so finals are finally over. for me at least. I think i did okay on all of them.

I got a 98 on my paper. woo!

I'm really tired.
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(no subject) [Dec. 10th, 2005|06:15 pm]
Lani
Modern, Cool Nerd
82 % Nerd, 73% Geek, 39% Dork
For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd.

Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)!

Congratulations!


Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Professional Wrestling

Love & Sexuality

America/Politics

Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST




My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:


free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 96% on nerdiness

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 96% on geekosity

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 63% on dork points
Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test
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Also... [Dec. 8th, 2005|05:46 pm]
Lani
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |The Doors- Ghost Song]

John Lennon was shot and killed 25 years ago today. gross.

people disgust me.
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behold my boredom [Dec. 8th, 2005|03:29 pm]
Lani
[mood |boredbored]
[music |some stupid country bullshit]

10 FAVORITES
Favorite Color: black/pink
Favorite Food: artichokes.
Favorite Band: otep
Favorite Song: don't make me attempt to answer that.
Favorite Movie: boondock saints/team america world police/Hero
Favorite Sport: irish dance?
Favorite Season: fall
Favorite Day Of the Week: friday
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Cookies! Cookies! Cookies! (It's a real flavor!)
Favorite Time of Day: uhhhh.... 4AM

9 CURRENTS
Current Mood: bored
Current Taste: uh. none.
Current Clothes: camo pants and an otep hoodie.
Current Desktop Picture: my cat in my mom's purse, trying to eat it.
Current Toenail Color: black
Current Time: 4:09
Current Surroundings: like 9087098 empty coke cans, scraps of paper with no space left to write, Adrienne Rich's book Diving into the Wreck
Current Thoughts: Only 17 shopping days left til Christmas!

8 FIRSTS
First Best Friend: Emma Sundberg
First Kiss: damn... i guess Avari
First Screen Name: ScarletDevil69 hahahaahhaaahaaahahahahahaaahaahahahaha. *wipes tear*
First Pet: boo boo the dog, but he ran away because I kicked him all the time.
First Piercing: besides my ears that I actually kept.... a vertical hood piercing. O.O
First Crush: Remy Cosse. wow.
First Music: The first CD I ever owned was Spice.... by the Spice Girls. But my first memories of listneing to music was.... Paul Simon's "You can Call Me Al" in the car on vacation in Florida with my Family. Ani DiFranco at the Jazz Fest with my dad a really long time ago. and singing Fela Kuti in the swimming pool when I was like... 4
First Car: my 1993 white Toyota Corolla STATION WAGON \m/

7 LASTS
Last Cigarette: about 20 minutes ago
Last Drink: alcoholic: 3 margaritas last night with Russellllll, Non-Alcoholic: welsh fruit punch in the cute little 69 cent bottle on my way to work.
Last Car Ride: at 2:00 to work
Last Kiss: this morning.
Last Time you said I love you and meant it: this morning
Last Phone Call: received- uuuuh.... Chad I guess, but it was a few days ago because my cell phone is broken. made- my mom, yesterday
Last CD played: Le Tigres- Feminist Sweepstakes. Old Le Tigre makes new Le Tigre look like total shit.

6 HAVE YOU EVER
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Guy/Girl Friends?: yes
Have You Ever Broken the Law: me? never.
Have You Ever gone Sky diving?: unfortunately, no. But I want to really bad.
Have You Ever Been on TV: No.
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: Didn't know at all, or Didn't know very well? :-\ it doesn't matter. yes.

5 THINGS
1 Thing You're Wearing: otep hoodie, we went over this already. it's big and black and says "self-made" on it.
1 Thing You've Done Today: put on make-up
1 Thing You Can Hear Right Now: country music. ew.
1 Thing You Can't Live Without: music
1 Thing You Do When You're Bored: fill out these stupid survey things

4 PLACES YOU'VE BEEN TODAY
1. the student union
2. Allen Hall
3. Work
4. the tattoo shop

3 PEOPLE THAT YOU LOVE
1. MOMMY
2. DADDY
3. CHADLEY

2 CHOICES
1.black or white: is this a loaded question? black
2. hot or cold: cold

1 THING YOU WANT TO DO
1. go home and reapply deodorant. Secret is total shit.
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stuff [Dec. 7th, 2005|11:14 am]
Lani
[mood |mischievousinsane]
[music |FUCKING CHRISTMAS MUSIC AAAAAAAH!]

So Thanksgiving.... riiight. I had to drive around all day on Thanksgiving. I went from my little boat to Baker to Sherwood Forest to Denham Springs to Walker. But at least I didn't have to see my creepy aunt and her even creepier boyfriend thing. gross. I ate at my maternal grandmother's, then I went to paternal grandmother's to see my dad and maw maw. The twins were there. They were dressed up like little fashionistas a la the olsens and made me want to barf. Tracy complained about having to eat canned peas and Stacy just didn't really talk to me. No one had birthday presents for me. Cunts. My dad was all dirty and looked like he hasn't bathed in a really really long time. He smelled bad, and I'm even lenient about such things. I mean, I live in a boat for Christ's sake. Then I went to my older sister's house, then I went to her boyfriend's family's house in Walker. They had a grotesque amount of delicious food. It rocked.


that weekend I went camping with Avari and his friends. I got really drunk. Whoa. Like really drunk. Like probably drunker than I was that time I got put in the hospital with .43 BAC. DA-yUM. Before I went camping, I had some people over to my house because my parents were out of town. kolonopin. yum.

I had some sort of major freak out later that week, but my mom gave me some xanax. hooray.

I had a paper due yesterday, and I turned it in. I was in a really good mood, until I got an email saying that the section of sociology I was going to take next semester got cancelled. Of course this comes a month after scheduling so EVERY FUCKING CLASS IS FILLED. except for those that start at 7 or 8-30 in the morning. Fuck that shit. I signed up for DARY 1048. Yes, that's right. It's "Introduction to Dairying." Kick ass. I'm actually looking forward to it.

I'm wondering why I even got out of bed today. Oh yeah. Responsibilities. Fuck the dumb shit. arg. oh yay I get to leave work now.
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Finally, I remembered. [Dec. 7th, 2005|11:00 am]
Lani
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
This is me getting my tattoo. (before I started crying like an utter cunt)
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
This is my tattoo. :D
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heh.... [Nov. 21st, 2005|05:14 pm]
Lani
okay you know how i promised that update?

well i lied.

I like margaritas. I drank like 4 at bonnie's going away party thingie at russell's apartment. I miss Bonnie already. teh suck.

*sigh* i need to study biology, but there will be a free blunt here any minute.... and all the everclear i can handle. *sigh*

Looks like I'm going to be pulling an all nighter... this doesn't bode well but nonetheless.... yeah....
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ANYWAYS. [Nov. 18th, 2005|11:25 am]
Lani
before i was so rudely interrupted, i was updating. seeing as how i don't have the time right now i have to go leave work and run errands... I promise an update later today. <3
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WHOA [Nov. 18th, 2005|10:56 am]
Lani
[mood |productiveproductive]
[music |THE IMPERIAL MARCH (on my cell phone)]

'tis been another long while since i updated.

MY BIRTHDAY OMG!!! I IS DER 18 OF DER BEING!!!1!!1!!one!!

I BOUGHT CIGARETTES!!! W00!

and I got a tattoo! it's pretty, but i keep forgetting to upload pictures. It's of the Hindu goddess Kali and it's on the back of my left calf. It's about 9 or 10 inches long and about 4 inches wide at the widest part... IT TOOK 3 HOURS AND OH MY GOD IT HURT AND I CRIED LIKE A LITTLE PUSSY BITCH AND DON'T EVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT A TATTOO DOESN'T HURT AND IF THEY DO PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE FOR ME.

Well... I was okay for the first 2 hours... the last one, I was crying the whole time. Jeff (the tattoo artist) was being a mean little fairy and slapping my leg and making the whole event more torturous than it had to be. But I don't really blame him. He was just having fun. Although I think it's his fault my knee has been bothering me because he only gave me one break right after he did the outline and because they didn't have a good chair, I had to hyperextend my knee for 2 hours and 15 minutes. Ever since then, i've been having weird muscle things in the knee.

AND THEN on top of that, i was climbing the ladder at the boat yesterday from the front part of the cabin to the main area, and the entire ladder just collapsed and i hit the same knee right underneath the kneecap. after it hit there it bounced and hit directly on my kneecap. I've got 2 distinct bruises. knees shouldn't bounce. i thought that i had really fucked it up yesterday because i could barely walk or put any weight on it at all without excruciating pain. But today it feels a little better. If it keeps bothering me I'm going to have to get it checked out.

I'm going to try to be producive today. I even made a little "to do" list and I'm goin to school (WOW!). I realized today that there's still a HUGE possibility of me NOT losing TOPS. so I guess I'll go to school, right?

oh my phone is ringing.
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OMG I FORGOT AND JUST REMEMBERED. [Nov. 2nd, 2005|10:29 am]
Lani
they played galang by M.I.A. TWICE before NIN came on at VooDoo. That's right kids, not once, but two amazing times. the first time it was barely audible, but the second time it was really loud. And i danced like a retard and shit myself. Russell shit himself too. And Kielly would have too.

That song is the best.

who the hell is hounding YOOO? in the B-M-Double YEEWWW?
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UUUUUGH. [Nov. 2nd, 2005|10:13 am]
Lani
[mood |sicksick]
[music |some NPR classical stuff or whatever]

I'm sick.
I threw up once monday night. And again last night.

Didn't go to Irish dance again. It's too expensive for me to miss like that, but I really wasn't in the position to jump around like a idk.... irish monkey? whatever, whatever.

I did however go over to Russell's to try to figre out the logic bullshit. I think I understand it! yay! So maybe I won't fail the test on Friday.

Speaking of tests, I took my pretest for biology yesterday, without looking at any of the material and I got a 28 out of 40. That's a 70%. Not too shabby for not reading any information on it, right? So if I study tonight instead of playing Black and White 2 for hours upon end, I should be able to make a B, or at least a high C.

Black and White 2 is the devil. It sucks the life out of me. And gives me a healthy dose of megalomania. It's so much fun to play for really long periods of time. I highly recommend this game to anyone who likes their video crack.
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whoa. [Oct. 31st, 2005|02:18 pm]
Lani
[mood |moodymoody]
[music |none]

so it's been a while since i updated.

a lot has happened and I don't remember half of it. so i'll guess I'll just start at this weekend.... Uh.... friday.... I went to the Carlotta street party and it was fun. Chad actually went out with me. I made my costume and I think it was pretty cute... I wore like this dress that I got from the thrift store my junior year to wear to winter formal. It's like 3/4 length and poofy made of taffeta. The top is fitted and it has tiny tiny spaghetti straps. Then I had these gloves that Kodi used for her dance costume last year. They're black velvet with little speckles of black glitter all over them with a loop to put over your finger. so they're technically more ilke.... armwarmers because they don't go over the fingers at all actually. I made bat wings out of coat hangers and pantyhose and they actually looked pretty good. I'll try to upload the pic i took. but yeah I had bat wings and I wore cat ears, but since I was a bat, that made them bat ears, duh. And of course, i wore the obligatory fishnets and knee-high boots. Chad of course wore his full pirate regalia.

MAN OH MAN did i get drunk. I came with like a pint of jack... and i drank about 2/5 of that (i suppose that's kind fan odd fraction). A little more than a third, almost a half. And i had a couple of beers, and a shot of jager (w00!). And i drank vodka out of some guy's bathtub. mind you, i was only there for about 2 hours. anyways. it was fun. even though my phone died and I couldn't get in touch with anyone. oh well, right? I saw a lot of people I haven't seen in a while. Seth Chancey and Trev Trev and my cousin and Genny and just like... everyone, actually.

Chad and I went with Avari, but ended up leaving him there by himself when we felt like leaving and he didn't. oops. oh well. He did just fine on his own. Got a ride home and everything. Even had the sense to leave when people started getting arrested. Good Avari. you get a biscuit.

Anyways, i got home and in a fit of drunken brilliance remembered to plug my phone in to charge. The next morning I woke up feeling ever so slightly hungover and checked my phone and Russell had called like 10239381029 times. I checked my text messages and he was all like "i've got 2 tickets to voodoo and money, let's fill up your tank and go." And I all of a sudden didn't feel so hungover anymore.

So I get up, get dressed, go get Avari from Pam's and bring him back to his car then I go over to the Russell's for about 1:00. We put oil in my car and depart. We arrive in New Orleans. oh my god.

it's really awful. I know everyone has seen pictures on the news and all, but it's nothing compared to what you think it is. Well it's not even that. I was expecting bad, but seeing it is so much more... i don't know.... sobering? I tried to take pictures when we were driving in, but the FUCKING CAMERA BATTERY DIES. right when we get there. wtf. anyways.... New Orleans is not the New Orleans it used to be. Driving down Carrollton Ave, some of the houses, the big beautiful houses.... some of them are just foundations. Refrigerators all along the median. spray paint on the sides of houses... a message painted huge on someone's sidewalk with blue house paint saying "HELP." It made me sick to my stomach to think of what whoever wrote that message went through, or even if they're still alive. I can't even phathom how anyone could return to New Orleans now. I mean, there's nothing there. just debris of what used to be there.

But life goes on. All around us there was the sound of hammers hitting nails. building out of the wreckage. reconstructing the great city. people sitting on their front porches or walking their dogs. butterfiles. flowers blooming. people hailing taxis. It was reassuring to know that people are in the process of rebuilding. It's going to take a long time, but it was so... i don't even know the world for it... i am just in such awe at the strength of these people. The people that are there now putting things back into place. The Courage and Determination that these people must have to muster up to get on with their lives is just amazing. I don't know what else to say. I feel confident that the strong people of New Orleans, whether by determination or just from lack of other options, will rebuild the city and it will be at least what it was before. I know it's going to take a long time, but it's going to happen.

And that's really what Voodoo fest was all about this year. It wa about steadfastness in the face of hardship. It was about not letting anyone fucking kick you when you're down. It was about New Orleans showing the world that they're still there.

IT WAS AWESOME. well, the festival itself was a little rinky-dink, but you know... Katrina, right? I'm so glad they actually even had it. the bands were great. Cowboy Mouth played the best live show I've ever fucking seen. Fred LeBlanc is such a great frontman. Can't even explain it. And I know some of you are like... wtf? Cowboy Mouth? that silly band? but you won't even understand until you've seen them live. They're all from New Orleans, so the show was really emotional for everyone. You could tell they were really putting their all into it. And so was I. I was so exhausted by the end of that show.

Luckily, Queens of the Stone Age SUCKED. so I had time to recuperate for... what's that? oh what's that?

NINE INCH NAILS!!!!

OH MY GOD. it was an awesome show. The pit was awesome, I got to dance like a stripper with some hot girl... and I met a buch of cool fucking people. oh and i can't forget. TRENT REZNOR is a fucking god. how cliche is that? But for real, yo. He's amazing. I didn't really know what to expect. But it was awesome. He started off with fucking head like a hole and then went straight into terrible lie. Then they did March of Pigs and I got sucked into the mosh pit. I normally don't like mosh pits, because there's always some jackass throwing elbows and shit, but this one was loads of fun. and I was in and out of it willingly throughout the rest of the show. IDK. they did like... all my favourite songs....

BUT.... wtf... Saul Williams made a super special guest appearance and wasn't that exciting. NOT. it was alienating. I mean, i know the guy has a message, but rapping about poverty and 'where my niggas at?' to a crowd of mostly middle class to upper middle class white kids is a bit unnecessary. I know that it's wrong that these people are fucking poor, but what is anyone at that concert really supposed to do about it? It's not my fault I can afford to live, right? I hated it. I thought it was really unnecessary and almost in poor taste. and that's coming from me. one fo the most liberal people i know.

anyways.... the rest of the concert was so good, that I can overlook Mr.Williams' performance. Not forgive, but definitely overlook.

AND I JUST RAPED THE LATIN TEST I TOOK SO HARD. PER RECTO. THAT'S RIGHT... THROUGH THE ANUS.

man i'm so sick of typing. fuck you guys.
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... [Oct. 21st, 2005|11:27 am]
Lani
[mood |okayokay]
[music |none]

People in Louisiana are crazy. It's like... 80 degrees outside... and a relative humidity of about 70%.... and we're like WOOHOO SWEATER WEATHER!!! YAY FER WINTER!!! It's as though we think winter will come simply because we're wearing our sweatshirts.

anyways.... what have I done during the past week... ok... some crazy bitch is obsessed with me and like wants to date me and I'm like omg you have a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend and despite the fact that I would terribly enjoy having sex with you, I WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE, YOU SEMI-CRAZY CODEPENDENT FREAK. so yeah.

uh... russell turned 20. My mom met russell and was like russell should not be gay anymore and should be your boyfriend. I told her to keep dreaming.

I took my Poetry mid-term and I don't think I did too poorly on it. I am still worried about the whole like... paper thingie i have to write. It's like a book review on a collection of poetry. My book is Eavan Boland's "Against Love Poetry," which I still need to get. I have no idea how to write a paper about that though.

I started going to Irish dance again woohoo. I was supposed to go to boxing lessons on wednesday, but i felt like shit and just slept all evening and when i wasn't sleeping, i cried.

OH YEAH, that leads me to the most significant event of last week: I went to the shrink, and she prescribed me to lithium. So Apparently, I'm a bona fide lunatic now. I'm certified. \m/ ...NOT.
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damn [Oct. 16th, 2005|06:07 pm]
Lani
[mood |sadsad]
[music |neverwinter nights music... stuck on.]

I just spent 2 hours playing a computer game, then i alt-tabbed it. now it won't come back. i am saddened greatly.
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(no subject) [Oct. 14th, 2005|02:38 pm]
Lani
[mood |discontentdisconsolate]
[music |Slipknot- Vermillion pt.2]

i don't feel good. I skipped work. And then Chad was all like 'you have to go to class' and I was all like rawr, and I came to my mom's house. so here I am. I feel like carving all the skin off of my face.... whatever. Maybe I'll go to biology at 3:30, but it's not looking too good for the home team. I don't feel like getting out of bed. *sigh*
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(no subject) [Oct. 13th, 2005|03:49 pm]
Lani
[mood |boredbored]
[music |the copy machine at work]

ok so yesterday.... after I left campus, we went to russell's house and got wine coolers. yum. then we went to barnes and nobles to help erica with her spanish and for me to study, even though I couldn't really concentrate on studying. I stopped after a few minutes and went inside to look for books. I got like the best book ever, because I finally saw it in paperback. It's called Skin Game by Caroline Kettlewell and it's uh... really good. Anyways... While at Barnes and Nobles we saw Josh and timmy and snook. I hadn't seen Josh in forever, and I hadn't seen tim in even longer. I apparently have met snook before, but I was probably too drunk to remember. Anyways, we went back to russells with josh and time and snook (kylie was with us too) and drank more wine coolers and part of their giant bottle of Jack Daniels. I left at about 10:15 though because I was worried because I hadn't heard from Chad yet and he usually calls and bothers me at around 8. (yeah i know, I'm pathetic)

When I got home Chad wasn't there and he had left a note saying that he had gone out with steve to North Gate. I stayed there and DIDN'T STUDY some more and read Skin Game for about an hour, then he showed up. He was pretty drunk and he had his hair down (*creams pants*). He also had taken the stud out of his labret and put a ring in, which he's never done before. I think Chad should go out, get drunkish, and come home looking sexy more often. Not only did I get to go out and have fun, but we also had great sex when he came home.

Then this morning, when I went into the tattoo shop, steve made fun of him because apparently last night he had only had a shot and two drinks. I don't know why he was so trashed and neither does he, but I rather enjoyed it. And I rather enjoyed ragging him about it too. I had to go to walmart to get him socks ("crew socks, size 10, white" - picky chad) and used some of the change to fill up my gas tank. now my gas tank is full and it makes me happy. It took me 30$ to fill my gas tank though and that makes me sad. It's way past time for a revolution.

Oh and I took my test and got a C on it. A low C, but still a C. *score*
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yeah so.... [Oct. 12th, 2005|07:01 pm]
Lani
[mood |weirdweird]
[music |M.I.A. - galang]

I got in a fist fight today. With someone who really deserved it.

And first I felt foolish, but then everyone kept thanking me.

...Stupid Cunt.

And All I have to say about it, if you want to be dirty is...

I stopped fucking people for drugs, but you STILL have herpes.

so... there.

but in the end, I still feel rather foolish.

foolish, but not really sorry.
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... [Oct. 11th, 2005|09:27 pm]
Lani
[mood |bouncywired]
[music |NIN- the great collapse]

every time i do coke I like it less and less...

or more and more....

whichever works.

But like yeah. Went to irish dance for the first time in like 2 months. Damn it's hard. smoking and Irish dance don't mix. So If I want to devote any time at all to inishfree dance studio, then I'll probably have to cut back. Actually make that definitely have to cut back. My muscles hurt so bad and I only even stayed for an hour. It's so aerobic, it's not even funny. I think if I start doing dance 2x a week and stop eating so late at night (i.e. right before I go to sleep) and stop drinking so much, I should lose at least a little weight. And I've finally decided that I don't really mind the size I am, as long as I tone up. So yes this is the next goal. w00t.
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I'm going to Hell in a handbasket.... but only on tuesdays! [Oct. 11th, 2005|03:06 pm]
Lani
[mood |happychipper, actually]
[music |Dennise's phone ringing at work]

Free Speech Ally on Tuesdays is another one of those situations in which I wish I had a rocket launcher. Like GAWD. I'm trying to sign up for the spectrum alliance, minding my own buisness, when these little kids try to force pamphlets into my closed fists and their parents are screaming at everyone and this guy is screaming back at them "I'M NOT A FUCKING HYPROCRITE. YOU'RE THE HYPOCRITE. I NEVER SAID I WAS A CHRISTIAN." ...Free speech ally is so much cooler without the holy rollers. And then there was that guy last week who handed me and russell the flyer about the evil jews and how cain killed abel and he didn't get to die, but he had to wear the mark of shame and the jews should have to wear the mark of shame for killing jesus and I'm like wtf and it's like SHAME ON YOU EVIL JEWS. and whatever.

I went to Barnes and Nobles last night with Tim Kulage and his little sister Grace. Grace is so cool (and hot). It kind of sucks that she's like... only 15 or whatever because... well yeah... It was fun, I paid $4.14 for a cup of coffee that I didn't even drink all of. EVIL STARBUCKS. but yeah, i hung out with Timmy and Gracey (a.k.a. GRENDEL) and we talked for like... 2 hours or whatever. I met this cat named Joe who was pretty cool and I'm going to have to hang out more with and this cat named Kyle who has epillepsy and a bitchy mom. We talked with Kyle about Psychiatric medications. AND GRACE LICKED MY TONGUE.

Then I went over to Tim's house and played super smash brothers even though I think I kind of suck. Though it could just be the fact that Tim's really super good and spends way too much time playing that game. His parent's were nice, but they kind of creeped me out though. His dogs were cool. heh.

Anyways speaking of psychiatric medication, I called my old doctor yesterday and made an appointment for Thursday morning. I really don't want to go back on medications, but I think I need to before something really bad happens. And if nothing else, I need to renew my script for adderall so that I don't fail.

I took the pretest for Biology today. Got a 25 out of 40. I was suprised that I did that well. I can probably get a C by thursday if I work really hard. By the way, does anyone fucking understand the Krebs cycle, glycolosis and like photosynthesis and shit. Because I don't. It's all greek to me. Except I would probably do better at Greek. So it's all.... biology to me.
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(no subject) [Oct. 7th, 2005|10:21 am]
Lani
[mood |depresseddisconsolate]
[music |none]

this may sound melodramatic, but i just want to die.

I know that I probably won't feel like this in a few weeks, but right now, it's almost unbearable. I think I need to go have a psych eval. I haven't had one since i was like 12 or 13, and god knows things are in a different perspective now. Just the way that I'm sinking again and the way that I feel worse and worse everyday. It's all too familiar, and I don't want to go back there again. I thought I could stop being on my meds, because I don't like the way they make me think, but I don't think that it would be a healthy decision to remain as I am. And recently a new facet has been introduced to his ever-expanding hall of mirrors. I've noticed myself becoming more and more violent.

I hit him this morning. He was upset and yelling and I hit him, without even thinking about it. The thought of that makes me want to cut my hands off. I can't honestly believe that I did that. I don't understand.
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AWMAN. [Oct. 6th, 2005|04:07 pm]
Lani
[mood |hothot]
[music |Slipknot - the blister exists]

I just got back from the dentist. I'm supposed to be going to get trashed with Russell and Mouse and possibly go to the "Haunted House" tonight, but yeah. I kinda just want to go get trashed, right? Like.... haunted houses are not very much fun when you're on mood altering substances. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT WILL BE? MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY. 30 days, bitches.

And besides, I'm out of gas and money. I need to go pick up my check from Pam for making all those fucking sandwiches. $11.00 an hour, I should be getting over $100.

That Symbolic Logic test was a big pain in the ass, but not entirely difficult. Just obnoxious.

I just popped like the hugest blackhead on my sister's back.

I also just realized why i hate livejournal. I am now another stupid 'blogger.' I fucking hate that word.

I keep hearing what sounds like my little sister screaming, but I go in there to check on her and she looks at me like I'm some huge douchebag.

My mom moved my stereo from off the shelf, because they're supposed to have some New Orleans evacuee staying here. They put their names on a list at church and I'm like WTF? I don't want some mother fucker from the ninth ward walking off with all my shit that's still in here. Don't I sound awful?
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(no subject) [Oct. 6th, 2005|11:21 am]
Lani
[mood |boredbored]
[music |none]

making up classes because of days missed due to hurricanes *cough FOOTBALL GAMES cough* sucks.
although I still think Chancellor O'Keefe is a bad mother fucker.


work sucks too.

and water is nasty.
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new journal [Oct. 4th, 2005|07:44 pm]
Lani
[mood |highhigh]
[music |Tool - Stinkfist]

This is my new live journal. I can't stand to update it right now because it's ugly as shit. and i hate it. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. I'm only doing this entry so that I can format it. :-p
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